


First Kiss

by crimsonheart01



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2019-04-05 07:59:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14039727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crimsonheart01/pseuds/crimsonheart01
Summary: Olivia is set up by Jackson and ends up with a broken leg and shot 4 times. This is her story of her road to recovery. WARNING: deals with drug addiction, violence, mental illness and recreational drug use. Chibs/OC





	1. First Kiss (Part I)

**A/N: WARNING: This entire story contains mature content from recreational drug use, to violence, to mental illness, to drug addiction. Please don't read if any of these topics are prone to trigger you <3 **

**Playlist:** _Maybe - Janis Joplin_

**Disclaimer: Sutter/FX own SOA**

* * *

 

He drove round the house, parking his Dyna in the backyard. He swung his leg over the bike, unbuckling his helmet. As soon as he was standing, Virgil came bounding, out of nowhere, towards him with a playful bark. He bent down and scratched behind the huge Bernese mountain dog’s ears. Virgil jumped up, wanting more attention making him laugh. Virgil nearly knocked him over onto his backside.

 

“Ey boy-o!” he greeted, “Where’s your mum?”

 

Virgil gave him another bark and he laughed. He must be insane, talking to the dog like it could answer him. After a final pat on the head he stood up and walked towards the backdoor, Virgil following diligently behind him. He saw that the backdoor was wide open, only the screen was closed shut. Before he opened the door, he smelt the strong aroma of burning herb. He rolled his eyes and stepped into the house. Virgil tried to follow him in but he stopped the pup.

 

“You’re gonna have to wait out here. Smells like mummy is indulging herself right now.” He explained.

 

Virgil gave him a pout when he shut the screen door in his face. There were a few low howls but eventually Virgil gave up and went about his backyard shenanigans. He turned around, leaving his boots on and trudged through the laundry room into the hallway.

 

“Liv?” he called out.

 

His voice was immediately drowned out by the loud music raising through her house. He rolled his eyes. This woman was going to be the death of him. He couldn’t even remember how he was the one stuck on babysitting duty. One of the prospects should be making these house calls. He pushed her bedroom door open, but found the room empty. He turned back around, checking the bathroom and the kitchen; nothing. Where the hell was she? He walked around the hallway into the living room, standing next to the couch. All he could see was the record player spinning and the coffee table had been pushed to the other side of the room.

 

“Liv?” he tried once again.

 

Right beside him, out from in front of the couch he saw her tanned arm shoot up, flashing a freshly rolled joint.

 

“Care to join Scottie?” She asked.

 

He looked down, to find her staring up at him with a goofy smile on her face. He sighed, snatching the joint from her hand.

 

“What d’ya think you’re doing?” he growled.

 

She rolled her eyes, “Having a bit of fun. There isn’t much else I can do, now is there?”

 

He grimaced, reminded of why she was house bound in the first place. Jax could be an asshole at times. He loved the boy, but this was a problem that could’ve been avoided, had Jax been willing to leave the girl alone in the first place.

 

“How’s the leg?” he asked, trying not to stare at the full leg cast on her left leg.

 

She shrugged, her arm falling back down her side, “Itchy.”

 

“And your back?” he pushed further.

 

She gave him a cold stare, “Feels like I’ve been shot 4 times.”

 

He ground his teeth together. He couldn’t imagine the pain she’d been in, and still was in. The club had ruined her life, for the next few months at least. Still holding onto her joint, he took a long drag. He figured he could indulge a little, and spend some time with the girl. She was always cooped up in her house, alone with her dog. She could probably use some human interaction. She watched him inhale and then closed her eyes, head bobbing along to the music.

 

“How much have you smoked, Liv?” he questioned, taking another toke.

 

“I think that’s my fifth one… I lost count a while ago.” She giggled.

 

He shook his head, a smile on his lips. He continued to stare down at her, watching as she swayed on the floor to the music, completely at ease. He moved to take his boots off and her eyes snapped open.

 

“Stay a while?” she pleaded.

 

He smiled down at her, “Was just gonna take my shoes off, lass.”

 

She smiled lazily back at him, “Good.”

 

He chuckled, slipping his boots off and lowering himself down to the floor next to her.  His head was next to hers but their bodies were stretched out in the opposite directions. Now that his face was next to hers, he could hear her lightly humming along to the song currently playing. He shut his eyes, entranced with her sound and smoking a little bit more.

 

“Chibs?” she spoke.

 

“Hmmm?” he answered.

 

She turned to face him, “Don’t you ever get tired?”

 

He turned to her, raising an eyebrow, “What d’ya mean?”

 

“With the lifestyle; killing, running guns…?” she elaborated.

 

He kept his face blank, unsure of where she got her knowledge, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

She snorted, staring back up at her ceiling, “Please, like I don’t know what ya’ll are invested in.”

 

He just shrugged, not answering her. They were quiet for another few minutes. He was wary of how observant she was. He should’ve figured that she already knew what the club business was, but still it was threatening to have her know that kind of information, especially with what the club had gotten her into. They were all looking out for her right now, but only until she was fully healed. It was their fault that she was ambushed, attacked and shot. What was to say that she wouldn’t go blabbing their gun running to the police once she was healed and able to go her own way? He hadn’t noticed that she was studying him while he let himself drown in his thoughts. He caught her gaze out of the corner of his eye and she smirked.

 

“You need to get on my level here Chibbie.” She reached out and pushed the joint closer to his mouth.

 

He couldn’t help but laugh at her. Even after everything she’d gone through, she still had a great sense of humour and an air of happiness about her. When he was around her, he felt like a weight was lifted from his shoulders. He never shared any information with her, but he knew that if he chose too she wouldn’t judge him. She’d listen and let him hash it all out. Even with that comfort, he still didn’t trust her. How could he? Jackson was the reason she was lying here on the floor. She may be nice and happy now, but there was no telling what state she’d be in when she could walk on her own two feet again. He sighed and took another deep toke of the joint. He was starting to feel that familiar haze come over him. He smoked some weed from time to time, but it wasn’t something that he did on a regular basis. Ever since Liv got out of the hospital, they noticed she’d taken up smoking quite frequently. It was almost rare to see her sober. If he was honest, it worried him a little. Liv had grown on him. They’d only been spending time with each other for a few weeks, but he was the one who constantly had to check up on her. They had created a repertoire between the two of them.

 

As if she read his thoughts, she whispered, “You can trust me, y’know.”

 

He exhaled, smoke shooting up into the air, “Easier said than done, lass.”

 

“I like you.” She chuckled.

 

He peered at her for a moment, she was such an odd woman, “Is that so?”

 

She nodded her head, “Yup.”

 

He waited to hear her explain her random exclamation, but none came. She just returned to listening to the music. He offered her the last bit of the joint. Their faces were turned, facing one another, as she reached up and gingerly took the joint from him. She kept her eyes on his while she inhaled deeply. Without meaning too, while he pulled his hand back, he caressed the back of his fingers across her cheek. Her eyes widen the tiniest amount, but he still noticed. She exhaled, blowing all the smoke into his face. He closed his eyes, coughing lightly and before he had a chance to question her, he felt her lips pressed against his. He froze for a second. Was this her way of explaining her words earlier? If it was, it wasn’t much of an explanation. He was too old of a man for a beautiful young woman like herself to be interested in.

 

She pulled away from him, realizing that he wasn’t reciprocating her affections. She tried to mask the rejection on her face as she moved away from him. She couldn’t say she was surprised, he was nothing more than her babysitter. She was just a charge that they needed to keep protected until everything was right with her body again. She sighed, having made everything awkward by assuming he might share her feelings.

 

They stared at one another for a long moment, before he inched forward, pulling her into an awkward upside-down kiss. She was shocked to have him attack her with such force. A minute ago he was frozen solid, unyielding to her own lips. Now he was pressing his against her with a passion that made her whole body melt into the carpet. She let out a sigh and he captured it with his mouth. She trailed her fingers across his scar, having admired them from the first day she set eyes on him in Charming. Her caress stirred something within him and he ran his tongue along her lower lip, desperately wanting permission to enter. She smiled and opened her mouth to his. They both groaned as their tongues met. Their kiss was gentle, but dominating at the same time. They paused, breaking apart to take a breath. She left a soft kiss on his lips, before nibbling on his lower lip. A reluctant smile broke out on his face, as he licked his lips, comforting the sting from her light bite.

 

Breathing heavily, they gazed at one another. The song faded out and another one came on and they were lost in each other’s eyes. He was of a mind to blame the weed for his current state of affairs, but he couldn’t deny the heat that flowed through his body at her simple touch. Her eyes were drooping, as she recounted their kiss over and over again in her head. She had been dreaming of doing that since she first saw him at Abel’s coming home party.

 

“I want to show you something.” She murmured.

 

“What’s that?” he asked.

 

She motioned for him to put his head on her stomach, “Come over here.”

 

He shook his head but followed her direction. He laid his head gently on her stomach, letting his legs stretch out in front of him. He was tall enough that his shins, ankles and feet were hidden under her coffee table. He laid there, silent, unsure of what she wanted to show him. Finally she started humming, and the feeling was odd on the back of his head. He glanced up at her and saw the amusement flashing in her eyes. He broke out into a smile while she burst into laughter. As she laughed, his head bounced up against her abs, causing him to laugh out loud as well. They both laughed for a few minutes, clearly high enough to find this amusing.

 

When their laughter died down, he asked, “Is that what you wanted to show me?”

 

“Yes.” She wiped the tears away from her eyes.

 

He shook his head, grinning, “Why?”

 

She shrugged, causing both of their bodies to jostle, “When I was a girl, my friends and I would make a line in the fields down home, and laugh. It always had the same reaction. I figured you might need a laugh. You’ve been tense since you walked in today.”

 

She wrapped her hand around one of his, toying with the rings on his fingers. He smiled. This woman really did know how to cheer him up, even if she didn’t know it. With her other hand, she absent mindedly stroked his hair, lightly tugging on the ends. Her fingers twirled and twisted around his dark roots. She admired the grey strands that were peppered throughout. They gave him that sophisticated older man vibe. His eyes fluttered shut while her fingers played with his hair. It had been a long time since a woman was this attentive with him. She seemed to unknowingly comfort him. He loved the crow eaters, free sex with no attachments but he couldn’t deny that he missed the warmth and comfort of having a woman waiting for him at home. He’d given up on any of those dreams once Fiona was out of the picture. He was lonely, that much he’d admit.

 

Another song, a familiar one, began to croon through the speakers. He then realized that she was listening to Janis Joplin. He was surprised, she didn’t look the type to listen to this genre of music. He relaxed against her, enjoying the warm body and calming music. About a minute into the song he heard a second voice join in.

 

“… _you might come back home, home to me_ …” She hummed along.

 

Listening to her sing along, he was reminded of the lyrics to the song. At the right moment, when the line mentions hand holding, he squeezed her fingers with his. Her hand contracted around his in response and they both gazed at each other.

 

The laid there together, her hand moving through his hair, while his thumb grazed her hand in a timely fashion. Eventually her hand slowed, and her breathing steadied. He glanced up to see that she’d fallen asleep; her head lolling to the right. He didn’t dare move, for fear of waking her up. He continued to lay there, resting his eyes, as the album played on song after song. Once the album had finally finished, there was silence throughout her living room. Only the buzz of the speakers being on was evident. He thought about getting up to move her, either on to the couch, or into her bed but his plans were shot when he felt the vibration of the burner in his pocket. He stuck a hand in his pocket, pulling the phone out.

 

Flipping it open he answered, “Ya?”

 

“Where are you?” The voice on the other end asked.

 

“Checking up on Liv.” He answered.

 

The voice continued, “Aright. Church is in half an hour.”

 

“Aye.” He confirmed.

 

The phone call was brief. He hung up knowing that he needed to leave now. Instead of moving Liv around, he pulled a cushion off her couch, tenderly lifted her head and placed the pillow underneath. He pulled the blanket off the back of her couch and covered her with it. He lifted the needle up from the spinning record, placed it back on the side, and shut the player off. He crossed the room, shoving his feet back into his boots and trudging back through the house to the back door. He opened the screen, allowing Virgil to brush passed him into the house. The dog paused waiting for his goodbye.

 

He smiled and promised, “I’ll come and check on your mum again later.”

 

Virgil snuffed into his palm and then sauntered off into the house. He shut the door behind him, then the screen. He would be back later to make sure that she had something to eat, and to just spend some time with her.


	2. Darkest Before Dawn (Part II)

**A/N: WARNING: This entire story contains mature content from recreational drug use, to violence, to mental illness, to drug addiction. Please don't read if any of these topics are prone to trigger you <3 **

**Playlist:** _Zombie - The Cranberries_

**Disclaimer: Sutter/FX own SOA**

* * *

 

_It was a sunny afternoon, my sunglasses were covering my eyes and I had my grey gym duffle bag slung over my shoulder as I walked onto the compound. I’d become an acquaintance of SAMCRO and took every chance I could to visit them. I was always trying for a chance to see Chibs. It was irrational but I had developed a long standing crush on him. This time I was entering their domain with fake car troubles. Jackson had been sweet enough to go along with my fibs and admitted the car into their care. It was now the next day and I was answering their call to come and pick up my good as new vehicle. Jax spotted me from his seat on the picnic table and nudged Chibs. I diverted towards them. I dropped my bag down on the ground by my feet and nodded at the two men._

_“Afternoon darlin’” Jax greeted me with a sly wink._

_I smiled, “Hey boys. I heard my car’s ready for pick up.”_

_Jax nodded, clapping Chibs on the shoulder, “Our foreign friend leant his expertise to your particular model.”_

_I flushed, “Is that so?”_

_He winked, throwing his arm around me, “Of course. Anything for a pretty lass like you.”_

_I giggled and he led me in the direction of where they had my refurbished car parked. Chibs dug around in his jeans pocket and produced my set of keys. He handed them to me and waited while I unlocked the door._

_“Turn in it, let me know how it feels.” He grinned._

_I laughed, knowing now that Chibs was in on the whole thing. He knew I’d made up the phantom engine problems. I shook my head, an indication that I knew he knew and he widened his eyes, waving both hands for me to turn it on. In order to appease him I sighed and turned the ignition, letting the engine click into life. Chibs stuck his bottom lip out in a pout of approval._

_“You hear that?” He asked rhetorically, “Running like a beauty. Any more problems from here on out, you best give me a call.”_

_I frowned, “But I don’t have your number?”_

_He raised one eyebrow, “We’ll just have to fix that too, now won’t we.”_

_He shouted for the prospect, ordered a pen and paper and the young man came bounding over, top speed holding out the requested materials. Chibs used my window pane as a surface and scribbled down his digits. He folded the paper, closed my door and handed me the document through the opened window. I picked it from between his fingers and tucked it away into my back pocket. He crossed both arms on the edge of my door, his head bowed forward and gazing at me through his sunglasses._

_“I expect to hear from you.” He muttered._

_I bit down on my lip, “I’ll definitely let you know if I’m having any car troubles.” I emphasized the word car and he winked at my cheeky response._

_He pushed back from my car and allowed me to back up. I was pulling to the edge of the lot when I heard my name being yelled._

_“Liv!” Jackson called._

_I slowed to a stop and hung out the window, waiting for Jax to catch up._

_He held out my duffle, a simple smile on his mouth, “You almost left your bag.”_

_I took it from him and set it on the passenger seat, “Thanks Jax. Gotta keep myself in shape. No one wants an unfit PE teacher.”_

_He chuckled, seemingly distracted and glanced out at the street and then gave me a half smile. I waved a final time and pulled out onto the street, making my way home._

**~(SOA)~**

If I was observant, I would have caught the flicker in the blond man’s eyes. If I was alert, I would have noticed the black SUV sitting across the street. If I was attentive, I would have caught on to the trail I’d picked up. If I was vigilant, I would have double checked my surroundings when approaching my car that night. How could I have been so stupid?

_“Jackson…” Chibs’ teeth ground together, “What did you do?”_

 

The words echoed through my mind.

 

**~(SOA)~**

_I was woken up by the regular beeping. It happened at every second interval and it was beginning to grate on my last nerve. I sucked in a breath and nearly choked, realizing there was a tube blocking my air way. My eyes snapped open and I panicked, beginning to tear at all the lines attached to me._

_“Shit! She’s awake.” Someone close by yelled. “Get Tara!”_

_There was scrambling around me and I continued to pull everything away from me. I choked violently on the tube in my esophagus causing my eyes to water. Hands came from nowhere and pinned my flailing arms down to my sides. I thrashed around, my fight or flight instincts peaking._

_“Liv.” I heard a familiar voice sound._

_I continued to twist and turn, whimpering, tears leaking from my eyes._

_“OLIVIA!” The voice yelled over the commotion._

_I stilled, shocked by the force of the tone. I blinked, focussing on who was holding me down. His scars were the first thing I recognized. I took a breath in through my nose, and the rest of his face came into focus._

_“You’re going to be alright.” His words soothed._

_Tara burst into the room with two nurses in tow. She began speaking to me but I was too focussed on Chibs to hear anything. I closed my eyes when they reached for my breathing tube and gagged as it was pulled out. Once my airway was clear I heaved in a deep breath, and Chibs let go of my hands. I cradled them around myself, hugging tightly. Tara checked all my vitals and prescribed some pain medication if needed. She asked questions and I answered, all the while terrified to my very core. She explained my bleak situation and I fought to keep myself composed. When she was finished speaking she dismissed herself.  Tara’s eyes zoned in on Jackson as she departed. Jackson stared at his feet and Chibs avoided my eyes. I rolled over onto my side, facing away from the unfriendly faces in my room. I’d never felt so alone._

**~(SOA)~**

I should have heeded the warnings the other teachers had given me. _Stay away from those men_ , they said. _They’re nothing but trouble_ , they cautioned. But I was stubborn, and infatuated. Nothing could keep me away. I tipped the bottle in my hand, dropping another two pills into my palm. I stared down at the little pink pills.

_“It’s too early to tell for sure, but you should mentally prepare yourself for never being able to walk unaided again.”_

 

Tara’s words bounced around in my mind. I popped both pills into my mouth, closing my eyes and leaned back against my head board. The tears began to seep out from under my lids and I let myself drown in my sorrows. I was never going to be the same again. I was never going to walk alone again. This was all their fault.

 

**~(SOA)~**

 

I was woken up by the sudden urge to hurl. I rolled over, searching for the bucket on the floor. I snatched it up and heaved my stomach empty into it. I coughed as my body refused to relent, upchucking everything in my system. I groaned, tossing the bucket away from me. It’d been months, when was this going to end? I flipped the covers off my body a cold sweat covering my body. All the doctors said that physio was going splendidly but why did I still feel the echoing pain of the bullets in my back? Why was that I couldn’t stand tall on my own two feet? My only solace was drugging myself to sleep. I reached for the bottle on my night stand only to discover it completely emptied.

 

“Fuck.” I growled.

 

With shaking hands I aided my legs over the edge of the bed. I stared down at them, the feeling of missing both of them dominant. If I stood up would I fall? Who was here to save me from my failing body? With a death grip on the end bed post, I pulled myself up. I cringed with the sharp jolt of pain that soared through both thighs. I kept my focus trained, there were more pills in the kitchen. I took a step forward and stumbled forward into the wall. I bit back the tears. Fuck the Sons of Anarchy. Using the wall as my guide, I pushed against it, shuffling the length of my house. After what seemed like a thousand years I reached the threshold of the kitchen. I let go of the door frame and took strained free form steps towards the cupboard beside the sink. I reached the counter and leaned against it heavily, taking deep shallow breaths. Without letting go of the edge I flicked the pantry door open. I pulled on the container with all my prescriptions in it and dropped it in front of me. I rummaged through the plastic box, realizing too quickly that someone had forgotten to get my script filled. My nostrils flared and my throat began to tighten. A cold sweat rolled through my body. I slammed a fist against the surface.

 

“NO!” I hollered. With both hands I swiped across the counter and sent the plastic container flying across the room, smashing into the far wall and scattering an array of coloured pills all over.

 

“WHERE ARE THEY?!” I screamed.

 

I began grabbing anything, and everything in my reach. I tossed everything out from the cupboard onto the floor. Once I’d emptied the pantry I moved on to the next one, smashing all my mugs and glasses onto the floor around me. In my attempt to destroy everything searching for my relief from reality, I lost my balance slipping on some broken glass and falling into a heap on the floor. With no will to move I let myself sink lower, the shards ingraining into my skin, blood trickling around me. I wept. This wasn’t how my life was supposed to turn out. I was happy, I was active, and I was an athlete. Why was this happening to me? What did I do wrong to deserve this kind of karma?

 

I heard the exclamation of profanities coming from the doorway. Whoever’s job it was to stand guard tonight had just discovered my breakdown. Whoever it was tried to lift me but I pushed away from them, slamming against the floor a second time. I whimpered from the added pain and the tears spilt over for the millionth time that night.

 

**~(SOA)~**

_“She was shot four times in the back and had her leg broken.” Chibs scolded, “How the fuck do you think she’s feeling.”_

_He’d just left her house, after another check-up. Jackson had the audacity to question her healing process. It was his asinine idea that put her in this position in the first place._

_“You used her as bait.” Chibs seethed, “Do you really expect her to just be ok with everything?”_

_Jackson sighed. It was just the two of them sitting in the Chapel._

_The younger man rubbed his hands down his face, “How was I supposed to know that would happen. They were only supposed to take the bag.”_

_Chibs shook his head, “And after they checked it? You didn’t think they’d want to see the heroin you promised?”_

_Jax let out a deep exhale, “It was a poorly laid out plan. I admit that.”_

_Chibs sucked his teeth together, “You got that right.”_

_They sat in an uncomfortable silence. The original plan was to use Liv as a decoy. They used her gym bag as the bait, hoping that it would get Laroy and his boys off their backs. Jackson thought they’d grab the bag when Liv was away from the car. He never expected them to attack her, take the bag, check the bag and realize it was empty of what they were expecting. Liv was active, she tried to make a run for it. They hit her with a car, breaking her left leg and then for added measure, shot her four times while she laid face down in the middle of the street._

_“You gotta do right by her.” Chibs finally broke the silence._

**~(SOA)~**

 

“Shite!” I heard the Scottish man’s voice break at the door.

 

I was laying on my side, staring at the empty shelves of my pantry. I heard his footsteps near and the strain of his pants as he crouched.

 

“She’s covered in blood.” He chastised whoever my keeper was that night, “Why did you leave her lying in this?”

 

I heard the shrug in the other man’s voice, “She wouldn’t let me near her.” Ah, it was Juice watching me.

 

Chibs hands touched my upper arms and I jolted away from him.

 

“Don’t touch me.” My voice was harsh.

 

He tried a second time, this time his grip a little stronger.

 

I thrashed away from him, crying out as the glass dug deeper into my skin, “I said stay away.”

 

“Olivia.” His voice was stern, “Stop it.”

 

He yanked me up off the floor and into his lap. I struggled against him, trying to loosen his grip. I shoved him away and attempted to stand on my own. I fell forward, unsteady on my own feet and landed face first into the floor. I let out a wail, frustrated and embarrassed. Chibs’ face came into my line of vision, his mouth in a hard line.

 

“Are you done making a fool of yourself?” His words biting into my core.

 

I frowned, my face screwing up in anger, “Fuck off. Go and fuck your precious crow eater whores.”

 

He growled at me and reached out, scooping me into his arms. I leaned as far away from him as possible, not wanting to have him touch me. He was a part of the problem. If only I’d never met him. If only I’d never seen him while walking Virgil. If only Virgil hadn’t taken a liking to him. I turned my face away, staring down the hallway as he walked.

 

The tears watered my vision and I whispered, “I hate you.”

 

**~(SOA)~**

Her words struck him deep in the heart. He cared deeply for this woman. He’d been with her every step of the way through her healing. He reached her room and laid her gently out onto her bed. She curled into a ball and out of his reach. He heard the whimpers of weeping coming from her frail body and he sighed. He sat down on the edge of her bed, running one hand along her arm, in a soothing motion. She shivered and pulled away, cocooning herself on the far side of her mattress. He took a deep breath and went to stand when he noticed the orange bottle lying on the floor. He picked it up and clenched his teeth together. This prescription was filled a week ago. It was supposed to last her a month.

 

“Shite.” He whispered.

 

He stomped out of her room, beyond pissed. The boys were supposed to be keeping an eye on her. She could have very well overdosed. No wonder she freaked out. He found Juice sitting in the living room and threw the bottle at his head.

 

“Ouch!” Juice rubbed the side of his head, “What the fuck Chibs?”

 

“Do you see that?” Chibs seethed, “That’s her prescription bottle, the one we filled last week.”

 

Juice’s eyes widened, and he swore. “What the fuck have you guys been doing? She could have died!”

 

Juice began apologizing profusely, “She spends all her time sleeping. We figured it was a side effect. That she was just acting like normal.”

 

“Get out.” Chibs ordered.

 

“But Jax sa – “ Juice tried to counter.

 

Chibs grabbed his brother off the couch and shoved him in the direction of the door, “I said: GET OUT! Tell Jackson whatever the fuck you want.”

 

Juice scurried out the front door, letting it slam shut behind him. Chibs took a minute, assessing the damage of the kitchen. He sighed, nothing ever went right in this town. He pulled his burner out of his pocket, something needed to be done about all that glass.

 

“Tara?” He asked when the person on the other line answered, “Bring your kit. Olivia had an accident.”

 

**~(SOA)~**

 

“Looking great!” Dr. Lipowhitz smiled.

 

I rolled my eyes, “Yeah right.”

 

She laughed, “Seriously Liv. You’re doing fantastic. I think we’ve done everything we can for you.”

 

I narrowed my eyes at her, “What do you mean?”

 

She clapped her hands together, “I mean we get you a cane, for the bad days, and you’re done.”

 

I sat down abruptly, “Don’t lie to me.”

 

She sat next to me and took my hand in hers, “I’ve never seen someone with the determination you have. In less than three months you’ve gotten back onto your feet and walking. The limp won’t be forever, but you don’t need to come back to physio. You’re done.”

 

I gulped, was this really the end? Was I really going to be able to go back to normal again? I blinked, unsure of how to respond. Dr. Lipowhitz noticed my blank stare and took my hand in hers.

 

“You have a clean bill of health.” She nodded, “It’s still going to be hard, and you’ll need to adjust to using the cane, but no more keepers.”

 

I burst into tears, torn between happiness and longing. This meant that I would lose Chibs. Since my breakdown a few months back, he’d refused to leave my side. He’d driven me to every appointment, sat outside waiting and then took me back home. He even set up all of his essentials in my spare room. Where did this leave me? I’d be alone again, right back to where I was when I was gorging on pills.

 

I squeezed the doctor’s hand, “Thank you. Let’s get that cane in the works.”

 

The doctor grinned and stood up, on her way to fill out the paperwork.

 

**~(SOA)~**

 

He watched as she hobbled over. He opened the van door for her, hoisting her up and waiting until she was settled in her chair before closing the door. He jogged around the front and jumped into the driver’s chair. He turned the ignition and drove them both back to her house. She was unnaturally quiet today. He ground his teeth together, it was possible that she received more bad news today. It seemed she couldn’t catch a break. There was always something hindering her process to get better. He left her alone though, not wanting to cause a fight. They’d already had one too many anyways. Every few minutes he would glance out at her from the corner of his eye but all he could see was her profile, as she stared out the window, watching the scenery speed by.

 

When he pulled into the driveway and turned off the ignition, she made no move to get out. He pursed his lips and reached out, his fingers gentle on her arm. She jolted out of her reverie and stared at him. He noticed right away the sad look in her eyes. Replaced by the angry determination of late.

 

He tilted his head to the right, “What’s wrong, luv?”

 

She took a deep breath, giving him a watery smile, “I’m getting a cane.”

 

“What?” He furrowed his brow at her response.

 

She nodded, “I know, right?” Her fingers wrapped around his and she flexed, swallowing her tears, “I’m getting better. They… uh – when I get the cane I don’t have to go back.”

 

“That’s great news!” He shouted, the realization of her words sinking in.

 

He pulled her towards him, engulfing her in his arms and shook with joy. He heard her light laugh at his happiness and then felt as the hot tears ran down his arm. He held her close to him, not letting up. She was going to be ok. She was going to move on from this. He felt the stinging around his eyes and blinked hard, stilling any unwanted moisture. There was a light at the end of this tunnel.

 

**~(SOA)~**

 

We’d only been home for a few hours when there was a knock on the door. I glanced at Chibs, assuming it might be the Sons but he shook his head. I shrugged and made a motion to stand. He moved to stop me but I gave him a dismissive smile. If I was going to get better, he was going to have to let me do things on my own. He hung back, watching as I limped to the front door. I pulled it open and was surprised to see Dr. Lipowhitz.

 

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

 

She laughed and held up her hand, “I came to drop this off. I figured you could get a head start. We had some sitting around at the centre.”

 

She dropped the cane into my out stretched hand and I waited for me to test it out, “Go on. Let’s see if it’s the right fit.”

 

I turned away from her, using the cane as an extended arm and leaned into it as I took a step. I took another step and then another and soon I was walking circles around the living room, laughing. Chibs stood up, a wide grin on his face.

 

He faced the doctor and whispered, “Thank you.”

 

She nodded then turned to leave. I was too excited walking in circles to notice her departure. Chibs leaned against the wall, watching my every move. I gazed up at him and saw the brief flash of sorrow in his eyes. I gulped, unsure of where his sadness was coming from. All my original trepidation about getting better came back and I halted my movements. Chibs noticed and glanced up at my face.

 

“Let’s celebrate.” He offered.

 

I raised an eyebrow, unprepared for his train of thought, “Sorry?”

 

He grinned, twining his fingers through hers, “Dinner. Just us. Let me take you out.”

 

“Like a date?” I said incredulously.

 

He laughed at me, “Yeah, like a date.”

 

I pouted in thought, before taking a deep breath, “Alright.”

 

“Perfect.” He took a few steps towards me and planted a chaste kiss on my forehead.

 

I inhaled sharply, my eyes widening at the sudden affection he was showing. For the past six months we’d been careful not to get too close. It was like we halted everything from before the accident and moved on.

 

“I’m gonna jump in the shower.” He said as he walked around the couch.

 

I nodded absent mindedly, still trying to process everything that was happening.

 

**~(SOA)~**

 

I couldn’t stay. It wasn’t fair. If I was going to heal I needed space. Space wasn’t something I’d be afforded here. I wiped at my eyes, tired of the constant tears. This was the end. There wasn’t room for anymore crying. I looped my duffle bag over my shoulder, clutching Virgil’s lead in my hand. With my new walking apparatus, I limped over to the bathroom, peering in through the semi-opened door. My body hurt with longing. We were finally getting our chance, it just came at the most inopportune moment. I slipped into the room unnoticed and kissed his fogged up reflection in the mirror. With a shaking finger I wrote my parting words:

 

_“I love you.”_

 

I shuffled out of the room and back through the house to the back door. I would never know if he’d see the message or not. But that was neither here, nor there. I needed to get my life back on track. I needed to take the time to heal myself. Charming wasn’t the place to do that. I needed space. Virgil followed after me into the garage and jumped into the front seat. I hadn’t tried driving yet, but it was now or never. I zoomed out of the driveway and around the corner. I kept my head trained forward, tears stinging the edge of my eyes. I couldn’t let myself look back. This was my final farewell.

 

**~(SOA)~**

 

“Liv?” He called out as he rubbed the towel through his wet hair.

 

He glanced up at the mirror and saw the sweet note she left him. He grinned. They were finally moving forward. He’d done his best to keep his affections minimal while she went through physio, knowing it was taking a toll on her emotions. He wrapped his towel around his waist and sauntered down the hall to her bedroom. He flung the door open, expecting to find her in there getting dressed. Instead he was greeted to her empty room. He creased his eyebrows together and checked his room.

 

“Liv?” He questioned the air.

 

He received no answer to his calls and wandered through the house searching for her. Finally he peered out into the backyard and noticed that Virgil wasn’t around. Without a second thought, he ran out the front door and spotted the opened garage. Her car was missing.

 

“No.” He said in denial, “No. No. No.”

 

He raced back into the house and ripped open her closet. Clothes were strewn about and her duffel bag was missing.

 

“FUCK!” He shouted, punching a whole through the wall.

 

She ran away. She was gone. She left him. He clutched his front teeth together, yanked his hand back and punched the wall a second time. After everything he did for her, she disappeared. He would find her. He would track her down. He stomped over to his room and ripped his burner out of his pocket. He flipped it open, held down the number two button, held the receiver to his ear and waited for the person to answer

 

“Yeah?” Jackson answered.

 

“She’s gone.” He raged, “This is your fault.” 


	3. Home (Part III)

**A/N: WARNING: This entire story contains mature content from recreational drug use, to violence, to mental illness, to drug addiction. Please don't read if any of these topics are prone to trigger you <3 **

**Playlist:** _Home - Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes_

**Disclaimer: Sutter/FX own SOA**

* * *

 

They searched and god dammit if they didn’t scour all of California looking. They picked up a trail, locating her car by the license plate near a state line town. When they arrived it was all for naught. The car was abandoned, donated to the local auction. IN the beginning he was pissed. He’d given up his life for her. Helping her. He was there with her every step of the way. How could she up and run? Did he mean nothing to her?

 

**~(SOA)~**

 

One year passed and they still hadn’t tracked her down. They put out calls to other clubs, giving them her description. They called up bounty hunters, asking for favours if they spotted her. Nothing came from their efforts. She wouldn’t be able to hide forever. Someone was bound to notice her. SAMCRO had friends in low places.

 

**~(SOA)~**

 

Two years went by and everyone else but him were beginning to forget about her existence. It was like she never crashed into their lives, brightening their days and then thrust into the darkest moments of their lives. It was frustrating. Chibs remained sure that he’d find her. He moved into her house, waiting day and night for her return. It never came.

 

**~(SOA)~**

 

Three years crept upon them and the boys were locked up. Ope was finding new love and he was stuck still dreaming of her smile and plagued with her tribulations. He threw himself into his work, pushing off unwanted advances. He wasn’t prepared to take up any of the crows yet. He was still sure she’d come back, or that someone would find her or that bear of a pet she had. Her dog wasn’t something easily missed. 

 

**~(SOA)~**

 

Four years went by and he was caught up in the cartel movement. Jackson had a new vision – go straight. SAMCRO was on the up. They were working their way through the drugs and guns. Once they had enough, everything would change. Little did he know that his life was going to change regardless of any income. He received the crushing blow, hidden in a brown manila envelope. He was in disbelief, the only indication he had of her in four years was this. He read the documents umpteenth times, trying to process exactly that they said. Olivia Jade Morrison was no longer the homeowner. The house no belonged to a Filip Telford. He spent that night piled high in crows.

 

**~(SOA)~**

 

Tired of sitting around, sleeping in the spare room, he finally decided it was time to let go. Five years had come and gone and she still hadn’t come back. He drank himself into a stupor, missing her laugh and that blasted bear of a dog. When he awoke the next morning, he promptly put the house up for sale.

 

**~(SOA)~**

 

The only sure way to get her laugh out of his mind was to chase tail. He bedded a new woman every night. Their sounds overpowering hers. By the time six years hit, he was successful. The curse of her smile, the memory of her laugh were drowned from his conscience mind. He was free.

 

**~(SOA)~**

 

He wasn’t sure when it happened, or how it happened but seven years later and he was sitting at the head of the table. Fingering the President patch, he wept. It was time, time to let it all out. Fiona, Kerianne, Olivia, Kozik, Opie, Clay, Tara, Gemma, and finally Jackson. They were gone. It was time to make Jackson’s vision for the club come true. Stay straight.

 

**~(SOA)~**

 

I was lounging on the couch, my knees tucked underneath me while Virgil’s snout rested in my lap. With one hand I absentmindedly ran my fingers through his thick fur, scratching behind his ears. With my other hand I flicked through the channels, barely registering the shows I browsed through. Unable to find anything compelling I stopped flipping through and left the evening news on. Mind as well be in the know about what was going on in Seattle. I focused my energy on giving Virgil some extra love, murmuring silly baby talk at him.

 

“Breaking news from Northern California…” The regular announcer was interrupted.

 

Both Virgil and I perked up, staring at the screen to see the high-speed chase in pursuit. I grabbed the remote and held down the volume button, turning it up loud. I stared at the screen, flabbergasted by the sheer amount of police following after what appeared to be a single man on a motorcycle.

 

“Coming in live from Stockton, we have word that the man being pursued is none other than the President of the notorious motorcycle gang; The Sons of Anarchy.”

 

I dropped the remote, my vision tunneling. I crawled off the couch, moving towards the TV screen. I examined the footage closer and there was no doubt in my mind who’s blond hair that belonged too. Jackson Teller was on the run. Virgil hopped off the couch to sit next to me while we watched with bated breath on how this was going to turn out. I was so caught up with trying to get a head count of how many police were following that I failed to see the semi that had appeared in the other direction. By the time the reporter noticed it, it was too late. No one had been able to predict what was going to happen. I gasped in horror, covering my mouth with both hands. Virgil jumped up, ready to attack. The cameras were quick divert but the damage was already done. Half the population had seen what transpired on the side of the road. There was a minor blackout and then a reporter from Seattle came back on, concentrating on reporting the events without being too graphic.

 

“Chibs.” I whispered.

 

I gulped, that was not a name I thought of in years. A name that I had been convinced I’d forgotten. After seeing Jackson’s fate on the evening news, I needed to know what had become of my minder.  I left Charming without a second glance back, and now here I was worried for someone who probably hadn’t given me a second thought.

 

“Come on bud.” I stood with Virgil trotting after me, “We’re going on a little road trip.”

 

I pushed the door to my bedroom open and bent down in front of my closet. I rummaged around, tossing the items in my way behind me. Near the back I found my trusty duffel bag, the same one that got me into trouble with the Sons of Anarchy in the first place. I pulled the zipper open and started shoving pants, shirts, sweaters, underwear and socks into it. I stopped off in the bathroom, grabbing my everyday toiletries and then to the front hall closet and dumped a few pairs of shoes in there. I kneeled above the bag, using my legs to squeeze it together and tug the zipper closed. I found my purse by the door and dropped in Virgil’s lead and treats. I laced up my all black Chuck’s and systematically went through every room turning off all the lights. I grabbed my favourite wool bomber and slid my arms through, zipping it up. I grabbed my keys and cell phone off the stand and opened the door, letting Virgil bound into the hall. I looped the duffel’s strap over my shoulder and let my purse hand from that same shoulder. I grabbed the cane that I had leaning against the wall before locking the door behind me. Both Virgil and I took off down the stairs, bounding out into the parking lot.

 

Virgil settled on the passenger side, sitting at attention, while I dumped my bags into the back seat. I slipped into the driver’s seat and turned on the ignition. I took a deep breath, pat Virgil’s head and then reversed out of our spot. I had no idea what I would find, or where to go to find it, but there was one place I could start with…. Teller-Morrow Automotive.

 

**~(SOA)~**

 

I drove straight through the night, a woman on a mission and in no need to stop for frivolous sleep. I did however, stop to let Virgil get some exercise and relieve himself. Fourteen and a half hours later it was early afternoon and I found myself coasting through the unchanged streets of Charming, California. I navigated through the side streets on autopilot, knowing exactly where everything was.

 

I pulled up to TM, turned off the ignition and stared at the sign for a long minute before making any decision. I took a deep breath in before opening my door. I climbed out, letting Virgil follow after me and shut the door. I pulled my jacket in around me covering my torso from neck to hips. I pulled it in not from being cold but from being nervous. Virgil gazed up at me, his tail wagging. He must have recognized where we were. With my hands shoved into my pockets, the two of us walked through the gate towards the office. I glanced over to where the clubhouse should have been and noticed that it looked like nothing more than a garage. I furrowed my eyebrows together, uncertain I would find what I was looking for. I reached the garage door and knocked.

 

I was greeted by a middle-aged man, “Can I help you?”

 

“Umm, yeah… Do you know where I can find any of the Teller-Morrow’s?” I shrugged.

 

The man raised an eyebrow and then let out a harsh laugh, “Are you joking?”

 

I peered at him, confused by his tone. He shook his head, “Sorry lady, but you’re a little late. They’ve all passed on.”

 

My eyebrows rose into my hairline, “Oh… I… Hmm.” I stood in the doorway awkwardly, unable to figure out where to go from here. I sighed remembering I had one last lead, “Do you know where I can find the Sons of Anarchy.”

 

The man narrowed his eyes at me and stood up, walking me out the door, “Last I heard they owned the ice cream shop on Main Street, but it was blown up a few weeks ago. Now leave.”

 

I stumbled onto the compound, startled by the less than warm welcome. Last time I was in Charming, the Sons were kings. Nonetheless, I nodded and thanked the man before being on my way. Virgil snuffed in an unfriendly tone at the man but I grabbed his collar and guided him forward with me. We got back to the car and I decided a drive through town was my next stop.

 

I rolled down Main Street, reading all the store signs, until I found the one that was undoubtedly the Sons of Anarchy’s ice cream shop. The windows were glassless and yellow caution tape covering up the entrance. I parked in front of the shop and leaned out of the door, one foot on the asphalt. Virgil poked his head out the other side of the window and yipped at me.

 

I shrugged, “I guess this is the end of the line. I doubt anyone around here would appreciate nosy outsiders prying into their business.”

 

I laid both feet onto the ground and hip checked my door closed. I walked over the median from the parking spots and onto the still broken glass on the ground. The sound of glass crunched beneath my feet as I peered through the open windows, into what seemed to be a quaint little shop. I turned back around, kicking at the shards absently while Virgil stared me down. I stepped up onto one of the stone markers, next to our car and bounced onto my tiptoes, stretching out the kink in my left leg. I wasn’t used to being still that long. Virgil let out an excited howl and I smiled at him. 

 

“I don’t know where else to look bud.” I sighed, reaching over to pet him, “I think this is the end of the road for us.”

 

All for nothing. I drove hours upon hours to lose the scent of what I was searching for in mere moments. In all honesty I couldn’t even tell you what I was searching for. Chibs had been nothing more than a babysitter to me, making sure I made a full recovery. We’d never made our true feelings for one another known. If he felt the same as I did, I didn’t know. I cut before we had a chance to make anything of our strained relationship. It was easier the way I left it. I was his charge, he was my minder.

 

“Well maybe it’s time we go back home. What do you say?” I asked Virgil.

 

We could find a motel for the night, give my joints a rest. If I stayed still too long I’d become stiff and the limp would become more pronounced. As I rounded the car, Virgil’s ears perked up into the air and his head turned to face the other direction. He narrowed his eyes and let out a few quick, high pitched yaps. I stared in the same direction and lo and behold, a loud Harley came barreling down the corner. I jumped into the car, put it into drive and skid out of the parking spot. I followed after the biker, noting that he was the right one by the Reaper logo on his leather. He didn’t seem familiar to me, with long hair and a black beanie. Virgil let his head hang out the window, the wind mussing up his fur as I followed after the new Son through to the outskirts of town and then to the docks. Instead of following him through all the shipping containers, and risking being spotted, I parked in the docks parking and let Virgil out of the car. I paused, contemplating if I should grab the cane or not, and figured I was up for a long walk and pulled it out. Better to have the help when it’s unneeded than to leave it behind and suffer. Virgil joined me at my side and the two of us made our way gradually through the containers searching for our destination.

 

It didn’t take long for us to find what we were searching for. Sitting in front of a line of warehouses was the familiar mark of Harley’s. My heart began to pound in my chest, thudding against my ribcage. A little ways past where the motorcycles were parked, there was a group of men milling around, smoking cigarettes. I couldn’t be sure, until he turned around, but from the graying strands near his temples, I assumed I’d found him. Virgil coming to the same conclusion as mine hopped up barking and took off in a straight run towards the man.

 

“Virgil!” I growled, trying to call him back to me.

 

Virgil bounded up to the man, startling the others around him. He turned, and squatted down to my dog’s eye level.

 

“Ey boy-o!” He greeted.

 

Virgil barked, licking him on the face. At the sight of him reuniting with my puppy, tears sprang to my eyes, and I sniffled. Here I stood a complete mess. I was wearing old, worn and torn black jeans, all black Chucks, an army green bomber jacket and a plain white t-shirt underneath it. My hair was surely sticking in a multitude of different directions. I was in need of a shower, and I hated to admit it but my teeth needed brushing as well. None of the men had noticed me standing there, their attention taken by the ‘lost’ dog at their feet. Chibs continued to pat down Virgil, when he finally acknowledged his collar. He tugged on the pieces of metal, reading the name tag. Realization hit Chibs and he grabbed either side of Virgil’s face, examining him.

 

“Shite.” I heard him exclaim.

 

I took a few steps forward, nervous about what his reaction to me coming back would be. He stood, Virgil wagging his tail and turning back to me. Chibs followed Virgil’s gaze and met mine. I stopped advancing and stood frozen, clenching my teeth together. The two of us stared at one another, completely in silence. The men around him murmured to one another, trying to discern who I was. It seemed like neither of us was ready for this kind of confrontation, and I was the one who went and put us in this position. I closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath and then opened them, staring at Chibs. I offered him a small smile.

 

“Chibs…” I spoke aloud.

 

“Olivia.” He said.

 

I moved forward, my limp now becoming distinct, in the presence of someone who knew the cause of it. I no longer had to hide the effects of my accident for fear of someone asking. I stumbled in my excitement to get closer to him, dropping the cane.

 

“Chibs.” I said again, tears falling freely.

 

He registered as I wilted and surged forward, Virgil running with him. He caught up to me catching me with his hand on my elbow to keep me balanced. With his other hand, he reached out and wiped away the tears on my cheek. His hand griped tight on my face and he tugged me forward, our lips meeting in a tender caress. I poured myself into the kiss, apologizing for every minute I was gone. I ran my hands along his arms, up his neck and then stopping to toy with the long strands of hair. We broke apart but Chibs pecked me three more times in succession. I giggled at his enthusiasm.

 

He murmured, his accent thick in his quiet tone, “I should have done that before you left.”

 

I shook my head, “It wouldn’t have mattered. I was too broken.”

 

He breathed in and I ran my fingers through his long hair. I gazed at him, hit with the sudden severity of longing I had for this man

 

“I heard about Jackson.” I murmured, explaining why I came back.

 

The thick-skinned man I’d known was no longer, his eyes filled with sorrow and I saw the beginnings of tears in there. He gave a brief nod, acknowledging my subliminal apology.

 

He leaned in and kissed me again, “Promise not to disappear on me again?”

 

He pressed his forehead against mine and I peered up into his eyes. I missed him dearly. He’d been nothing but a man who cared for a woman. We could try again. This time without the constant violence looming over our lives. This was our second chance. Not many people were given this kind of opportunity. I wasn’t going to let this one go by being a coward.

 

“Never.” I promised.


End file.
